Navigating the Healing Waltz
One Step Forward, Two Steps Back in Trauma Recovery
Image by Roxxie Blackham
Healing from trauma is a journey that often resembles a waltz – a dance between progress and setbacks. This experience is a common experience for survivors as they navigate the path toward healing and wholeness. The journey involves both triumphs and challenges, where every step forward might sometimes be accompanied by a seemingly backward sway. In this article, we explore the metaphor of the "one step forward, two steps back" dance in trauma recovery, shedding light on its dynamics, the emotions involved, and the resilience it demands.
The Dance of Progress and Setbacks
Trauma recovery is rarely a linear process. Instead, it resembles a complex choreography, where survivors make gains but may also face unexpected setbacks. Just as in a dance, these steps forward and backward are part of the rhythm of recovery. Progress may manifest as:
increased self-awareness,
reduced triggers,
improved coping strategies,
the recognition that recovery is possible, and
a renewed sense of empowerment and agency.
Setbacks, on the other hand, can emerge as:
moments of heightened anxiety,
reliving traumatic memories,
insomnia and nightmares,
relapses or binges on food or other substances, or
experiencing unexpected triggers that elicit intense emotions.
Understanding the Dynamics
One Step Forward: Progress is marked by small victories – a night of peaceful sleep, an engaged day at work, or the successful handling of a triggering situation. These steps forward represent a survivor's ability to reclaim control over their life.
Two Steps Back: Setbacks, often accompanied by intense emotional reactions, can feel discouraging. It's important to recognize that setbacks are not indicative of failure. They are moments that highlight the complexity of trauma and the depth of its impact.
The Emotional Rollercoaster
The dance of healing is an emotional rollercoaster, where survivors may experience a range of feelings:
Gain and Loss: Loss is painful, but it is an inevitability in every human life. Gains can be small, so it’s important to celebrate tiny wins along the way.
Pleasure and Pain: It’s normal to avoid pain and reach for pleasure. Taking pleasure in the simple things in a mindful way every day – the cup of coffee, the aroma of a flower – can take the edge of the pain of trauma recovery.
Praise and Blame: Being blamed or worse, victim-blamed, is another human challenge faced by survivors of bullying and abuse. If we can offer ourselves a little praise every day – a little pat on the back, even if it’s just for getting out of bed before noon, we can balance the scales a little.
Good Reputation and Disgrace: Facing someone – an abuser or an organisation – who wants to destroy our reputation is one of the most painful things a person can undergo. Ask any Whistleblower. We can acknowledge that it’s a part of life, this happens to other people too and they get through it, and give ourselves the compassion we need.
Hope and Triumph: Progress brings feelings of hope and triumph. Survivors experience a renewed belief in their ability to overcome adversity and regain a sense of normalcy.
Frustration and Despair: Setbacks can lead to frustration and moments of despair. Survivors might question their progress and feel overwhelmed by the weight of their trauma.
Resilience and Determination: With each step forward, survivors exhibit their resilience and determination to reclaim their lives. The dance underscores their strength to face challenges head-on.
Embracing the Dance of Healing
Train in Mindfulness: The more we practice a thing, the better we get at it and more it becomes a habit. Science now backs up the efficacy of ancient practices. We need to crawl before we can walk. Look for tiny but mighty improvements in mood by practising mindfulness in daily life.
Practice Self-Compassion: Survivors should treat themselves with the same kindness and compassion they would extend to a friend. Celebrate progress and acknowledge that setbacks are natural and not indicative of failure.
Build a Support System: Having a support network is crucial. Friends, family, therapists, and support groups provide the encouragement needed to navigate the dance of healing. Gather allies and stay away from people who have a bad influence over mood or behaviour.
Learn from Setbacks: Every setback offers an opportunity to learn more about triggers and coping mechanisms. Every dance is unique. Reflect on what led to the setback and use it as a stepping stone toward growth. With self-compassion, it’s easier to give ourselves forgiveness and ‘permission to fail’.
Set Realistic Expectations: Understand that recovery is not linear. It's a winding journey that will have its ups and downs. Setting realistic expectations can reduce the impact of setbacks on one's self-esteem. Trauma recovery takes time and weight-bearing (responsibilities) ability can be reduced. Surrender to the process.
Conclusion
The dance of one step forward and two steps back in trauma recovery encapsulates the essence of resilience and growth. Survivors move through this intricate dance with courage, embracing progress and setbacks as integral parts of the journey. It's a testament to the strength of the human spirit that, even in the face of adversity, individuals continue to waltz forward, striving to heal, and ultimately finding their way back to themselves.
© Nicki Paull, 2023, aided by ChatGPT with acknowledgement to The Present Psychologist for Image adaptation.
