When a narcissist or psychopath uses the word, ‘love’, they don’t mean what we mean when we use it. Highly narcissistic people can only relate to the world by how it affects them personally. Love is just a word to them.

Narcissists have learnt over time to develop a charming, sophisticated public persona. Often, they don’t just appear as ‘normal nice’. But as everything you ever admired, respected and liked in a person. Unbelievably ‘nice’!

If you’re the target of a bully, you’ve seen what their dark side is like, but don’t expect everyone else to see that side of them. Bullies will use ‘plausible deniability’ to deny, deflect or reframe their actions to look as if they have positive motivations.

In a world that constantly bombards us with images of supposed "ideal" personalities and lifestyles, it's easy to feel like we fall short. We might question whether our personalities are "normal" or whether we fit into society's narrow definition of what is acceptable.

Unintentional gaslighting can slowly corrode the fabric of a workplace, causing lasting damage to both individuals and the organisation as a whole.

There can be repercussions in our social circles when we start to set boundaries after a lifetime of people-pleasing.

Narcissists will shame us as an act of overt cruelty, gaining gratification from the sense of personal power that gives them.

Training in Mindful Self Compassion gives us powerful new tools - short daily mindfulness practices – that can change the mental habits of a life time with persistence and repetition. We can heal our shame.

What are we up against when we decide to embark on a journey to heal our shame with self-compassion?

In a word: DOUBT.

(One of the Five Hindrances in Buddhist Psychology. The others are aversion, attachment, restlessness and sloth)

Bullying and psychological abuse is all about the absence of things, rather than the presence of things.

People know when they are the victim of covert bullying and abuse.